Today's blog is inspired by the fact that -- as of this morning -- I am 11 pounds down since the beginning of summer and only 6.5 to go before I hit my pre-pregnancy weight. Anyway, it got me thinking about how many times I've ridden the weight loss roller coaster over the last 20+ years, and the idea that I tend to experience iterations of the same stages each time.
I've decided to devote a blog to each stage.... starting today with:
DENIAL
This is that phase of the weight cycle in which the scale is slowly, steadily creeping upward, but I refuse to acknowledge it. I love this stage. During this stage I eat whatever I want, because I am willfully blind to the consequences (except the occasional post-pizza heartburn). Denial is bliss, and don't let any self-serving mental health professional convince you otherwise.
Well, except that your clothes start to get tight. And things sag where they shouldn't. And you notice that you can wolf down a plate of chili-cheese fries faster than any of your guy friends. And you don't feel quite as good physically as usual, nor quite so confident when you get dressed in the morning. And maybe someone asks you when your baby is due, and you sit in the car and cry for half an hour because you're not pregnant.
This is about the time when a part of me, the part Dr. Freud would've labeled the Super Ego, decides it's time to step in. But denial isn't going anywhere easily. It's way too comfy in this squishy body. So the Id - the part of me that loves ignorant bliss and jelly donuts - recruits the ego to help maintain our position. The conversation goes something like this.
SUPER EGO: Listen, I couldn't help but notice that when we got on the scale this morning....
EGO (defensive): Oh, come on, you can't believe everything that scale says! And haven't you heard that weight is just a number?
SUPER EGO: That's true, it is just a number. And that number is up by at least ten pounds.
EGO: The scale needs batteries. Plus it gets wet sometimes when we get out of the shower. It could totally impact the digital reading!
SUPER EGO: I have other evidence.... Our pants are getting really tight. We've been wearing jackets to work even when it's 80 degrees out.
EGO: I'll have you know jackets are in. Besides, we had that really salty meal earlier this week...
SUPER EGO: Which one? The potato skins or the bleu cheese burger?
EGO: Er... both, I guess. Anyway, it's probably just water weight. You know, bloating.
SUPER EGO: Ten pounds of water weight? From a salty meal?
EGO: And it could also be that we're building muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat, you know.
SUPER EGO: Muscle? From....?
EGO: Well, the groceries were really heavy the other day and I did yoga, let's see, what's the date today?
SUPER EGO: Yoga was two weeks ago. And it was once.
EGO: Um.... [fumbling, turns to ID for backup] A little help here?
ID: Jelly donuts! Tell her about the jelly donuts!
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The blog will be on hiatus tonight and tomorrow while I'm fasting for Yom Kippur (rather than for weight loss). I wish my Jewish friends a wonderful Yom Tov!
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