Run, Fat Girl, Run!

As many of you know, I've been embarking on a journey since last December to SLOWLY improve my running ability. This has been an interesting and daunting task; and I've been blessed with many companions who've been my supporters, fellow runners and cheerleaders along the way.

As I was panting my way around the GSU track last week, getting constantly lapped by tiny college girls in even tinier running shorts, I had a thought. If I ever get "finished" writing about all my other pet topics, maybe someday I would write about what it's like for a plus-sized woman to strap on the running shoes and go pavement-to-pavement with all the skinny-minnies on the running trail.

Well, one little blog entry will have to suffice for now.

Even though I consider myself an active person, and I've had spurts of what some (mostly blood relatives of mine) would call "athleticism" off and on throughout my life.... running was never a training regimen I could wrap my head around. It was too hard, too boring, too painful to consider. Once in a while I would attempt it, getting discouraged after a few days of huffing and puffing and painful shin splints.

To excuse myself from running, I'd latch on to anything I heard 'on the street' about women and running. It's bad for your knees. It's hard on your kidneys. You can dislocate your uterus?!?!?!? [No kidding, this lady at a park told me that once as she watched me attempting to run some intervals].

So I'd opt for other stuff like yoga, swimming, brisk walking, and the occasional battle with an elliptical machine at the gym. These are all healthy and beneficial activities, of course, but I still felt jealous when I'd hear runners talk about the peacefulness and the endorphin high of their morning run.

Well, this time around I've been running more or less 2-3 times a week since January, and here's a little of what I have learned so far:

- To avoid injury, it turns out you have to stretch for much longer at 32 than you did at 23.
- You really do have to be kind to your knees: work slowly, run on a springy surface, and pay attention to your body. It's also good to build your leg muscles in other ways whenever possible.
- A really good pair of running shoes is critical to preserve your knees and feet. A super-reinforced, steel-girder type sports bra is also your friend. (Those of us with D cups or larger know just how painful it can be to have 'the girls' jumping all over the place.)
- A running buddy helps A LOT, especially in the beginning. If there's not one handy, an audiobook or upbeat music is helpful.
- Don't compare yourself to everyone around you. You are trying to become the best YOU, not the best THEM....
- But, sometimes you can't help comparing yourself to those skinny, tanned little things in tiny shorts and sports bras... In this case, I strongly recommend visualizing them tripping over a rock and falling face first into the pavement/gravel. It's surprisingly invigorating.
- It's totally okay to have an off day or even an off week... don't get down on yourself, just get back out there when you can.
- Intervals are a good way to build up running stamina. You can find a fabulous "Couch to 5K" regimen here. My personal strategy, however, is a little simpler: Run until you feel like throwing up or passing out, then walk until you feel like running again.
- Some days you just have to walk. That's okay. It's better than not doing anything!

When I originally started on this journey, I thought I would be able to run a whole 5K in just a couple of months. I also imagined that all my hard work would result in unparalleled weight loss. It hasn't turned out that way for me... I am still running about 2 miles of the 3 each time, and I've only lost about 5 pounds. But I'm okay with that, because I've stuck to it, and I improve with every race I run. And somehow it's not really about my weight anymore...

I've come to that elusive point where I actually look forward (most days) to my runs. It is a time of peace in a crazy life, a chance to regroup for an hour or so, away from all the demands on my time... for at least as long as it takes me to get around the loop trail. For that short period, there are no computers, no books, no phone calls... no insistent voice in my head telling me I need to be doing something else with my time. It's kind of a sanctuary -- just me, the river, a gravel trail, and the beautiful world around me.

Now I think I understand what all those annoying runners were saying before... that the joy of the run has nothing to do with how fast or how far, or even the results you might see (or not) in the mirror. It's about finding peace in a hectic life, and honoring myself with three or four hours a week by lacing up my shoes and saying, "I'm worth it."