Shoes on, Schedule off

Even though I'm comfy on the couch with my laptop, I'm writing this blog with my shoes on.

See, I had plans for today. We have errands to run and family commitments this afternoon, so I thought Little Monkey and I would go to the bouncy-place this morning [a fantastic phenomenon our generation never got to experience] and let him get out some of his toddler energy in a nice air-conditioned playground setting. So I put him down for a quick morning nap and got myself ready.

But as so often happens, my plans weren't his plans, and LM didn't want to nap despite how exhausted he clearly was this morning. He'd be quiet for a minute and I'd think he was asleep, and then I'd hear squealing and chatting coming from the nursery. Every time I was about to go in to comfort him or get him up, he'd quiet down again and fool me into thinking he was asleep. And then five minutes later...

So, just when I had finally decided to give up and head out without the morning nap, he actually did fall asleep. And so far, he's slept for an hour and half, while I try to reorganize my plans for the day and get done what I can here (quietly). It's much longer than his usual morning nap and will probably through him off for school tomorrow, where he doesn't typically get a morning nap.

Now, I know lots of parents -- both in real life and in online forums -- who are strict schedule-keepers. Some people organize their lives such that their kids get the same sleep and the same meals every day, and that seems to work for them. Others follow more of the advice I once heard from a girlfriend, "Live your life and just incorporate your kids into it."

Philosophically, I've always agreed more with the latter approach. It's hard enough for me to keep my own life organized, so also having to make sure I'm home by 10:00 a.m. or 1:30 p.m. every day for naptime because 10:06 or 1:42 would mean a major meltdown... Well, I think I'd just be setting myself up for failure. On the other hand, I have found that I do need to know how much sleep LM needs each day; and it's helpful if I tune in to his basic patterns and respect his signals.

So, our lives together have turned into kind of a mish-mash of give and take. We have days where LM has to conform to my schedule -- the days I go to work and he goes to daycare (daycare being a new experience for both of us); scheduled playdates and lunches with friends; and those seemingly endless errands each week. And on days like today, even though I have a vision for how I think the day will go, I can adjust to LM's seemingly random need for a two-hour nap at 10:30.

This hit-and-miss scheduling strategy isn't outlined in any of the baby books I read or even advocated on the websites I visit to check out developmental milestones and get tips on how to get funky baby smells out of the laundry. But the symbiotic back and forth works for us, and I think it sets a basic precedent for respecting both our needs. I'm okay with that -- even if it means the occasional meltdown at the grocery store or rearranged day planner.